Hello friends,
For the past year God has been teaching me to be BOLD. I had no idea for sure what that meant in my life at that time. I thought it was to speak up and speak truth for HIM. I was wrong. God’s answer was so much deeper than I thought it could go. Going back to the questions I asked God: Who am I, Who does God say you are, What does my false self look like, are there any lies that I believe about myself, what truths do you (God) want to speak into my life. The lies have I been believing about myself and this is what God has shown me through this week of training camp.
For years I thought that I was unworthy to be a missionary because I can’t speak eloquently, preach to large crowds, or know theology in and out. God revealed this lie to me last year when I had the opportunity to love on a local witch doctor in Tanzania, Africa. I did not realize that this lie of unworthiness lived so deep in my heart. I thought i was taking care of it, opps, I just let it get deeper and harder to spot in my heart. So God pointed it back out to me at training camp, like “ hey, you’re worthy of a conversation. Why do you believe that you can’t talk? That’s not from Me! That’s from Fear and the Enemy. Your words matter to Me and the Kingdom!”
This is a major lie that I have been believing that my words don’t matter. No one wants to hear me talk, I have nothing important to say. So why would I talk if no one would want to hear what I have to say. So in the past I would hide in the background thinking that is the only good place for me to do Good. Which of course is a straight up lies, but I internalized them and let them shape my life.
How have these lies have shaped my life. I loved being in the background and helping with anything. I would not have to speak or use my words, my excuse was I am pointing people to God through actions. Then at training camp God tugged on my heart and i asked Him who do You say I?
“You are my cherished most beloved daughter. You are not asked to be perfect, just be Lydia and nothing else. I will never leave or forsake you. Bring EVERYTHING to me. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Sing to me, share joy, and be My light throughout your life and into the darkest places.”
When realizing that the lies I have been internalizing are not what God wants for me, But it is the Enemy handicapping the Kingdom.
After lunch we had an amazing Worship service about Freedom in Christ. It was an amazingly freeing experience. I was able to lift up all these lies to God and surrender to Him and His truth.
Thank you to everyone who is reading this blog. I truly appreciate this open and free platform for me to share what God has been doing in my life. Next week I will be posting the next blog, bringing to light, in this series.
With love,
Lydia Strickland
